[Read This Fine Material] from Joshua Hoblitt

Choose your own adventure


It’s 10:00am Tuesday morning after a three day weekend and the water to your apartment has been shutoff for some sort of building maintenance. You’ve just woken up after going to bed sometime past 5 o’clock and you haven’t had your morning coffee yet. Through squinted eyes you spot something moving on the kitchen counter near the espresso, fountain of life and conciseness, machine. Do you:

  • A – Ignore it
  • B – Swat it with a fly swatter
  • C – BAAAAAM! Smash it with the palm of your hand

Option C: You attempt to turn on the kitchen sink to wash the dismembered roach bits off your hands. You hear a hissing sound and nothing but gas comes out of the faucet…

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